The Four Agreements – Chapter 1

My new therapist, who I met with last week (and who is AWESOME!!), gave me homework toward the end of our session. I will write in more detail about the lead-up to this in another post, but for now I am just putting in something here to help me remember things.

The homework was to read the book, THE FOUR AGREEMENTS, by Don Miguel Ruiz.

I’ve so far read the first two chapters. A lot. There’s a lot to unpack.

I am working really hard at trying to understand things, and I am still processing what I have read and how it relates to me, and my appointment tomorrow will help me do some of that. But I just wanted to jot down a bunch of things directly from the book so I have them all in one place.

You get to see what kind of shit resonates with me enough to highlight them in my copy of the book. Letting people into my brain. FUN! *laughs*


I am not putting in my own thoughts or reasons, yet. Just the direct text from the book.

If you have learned anything about me, writing things down is just the first step. Then, I can begin to process. I’m not at that step quite yet. But you can see here where I am starting from.

All of these quotes are from Chapter 1.

“Breaking the rules in the Book of Law opens your emotional wounds, and your reaction is to create emotional poison. Because everything that is in the Book of Law has to be true, anything that challenges what you believe is going to make you feel unsafe. Even if the Book of Law is wrong, it makes you feel safe.

“… even if we understand the concept of it not being true, we feel the blame, the guilt, and the shame that occur if we go against these rules.”

“We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves.”

“… we punish ourselves again, and again, and again.”

“If we look at human society we see a place so difficult to live in because it is ruled by fear.”

“We try to hide ourselves, and we pretend to be what we are not. The result is that we feel unauthentic and wear social masks to keep others from noticing this. We are so afraid that somebody else will notice that we are not what we pretend to be.”

“… nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves.”

“Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves; it is why we don’t accept ourselves the way we are, and why we don’t accept others the way they are.”

“In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave. The result is what you call your personality.”

“If you want to live a life of joy and fulfillment, you have to find the courage to break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power.”

Published by loribarett

Coffee addicted charismatic geek with a penchant for tattoos, books, and listening to people tell their stories.

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