Stability. What to do next?

Off and on, I’ve been thinking about something big for a while. I am doing really fucking well with my mental health stability (even the ups or downs I’ve had have been minor and quickly dealt with). I’m not the only person who has noticed this, either. So it’s not just in my own mind.

This is the situation I’ve found myself in. I’m not completely happy with my new therapist. I still call her new even after a year working with her. That says a lot right there.

I haven’t developed any sort of rapport with her, and talking to her still isn’t comfortable or giving me the same sense of peace I used to get when talking to Ann.

I talk so much about the importance of therapy. But also the importance of finding the RIGHT therapist. I got complacent, because I have been doing really well and also because the pandemic was still in full swing and I wanted to have that back-up support Just In Case. But I think it’s time now for me to take a break and figure out my needs going forward before I take the step of looking for a new therapist.

I’ve found a few things that I believe will help me when I’m on a therapy hiatus.

I’ve been following a bunch of therapists on Instagram (A Modern Therapist is my favorite) and from there I discovered an app called DiveThru. What an awesome tool! I highly recommend it.

Writing in this blog has also been a huge help in managing my mental health. It allows me to think things through, process those thoughts, and figure out how to articulate them.

With all of that, I believe I’ve got the tools I need to take that break from therapy. I also know that if I do find myself needing that extra help again there is absolutely nothing wrong about reaching out again for that additional support.

Like me, this is a decision a lot of people find themselves needing to make. They feel, “I’m fixed. I don’t need therapy anymore.”

But it’s important to remember that “fixed” is not what’s going on. For me, the word is STABLE.

Stable. It’s subjective. We all have different meanings for that word. All I can suggest is that you spend time truly thinking about what it means for you before making choices that change the level of support that’s helped you get there. And how you’ll work to keep yourself there.

Because no matter what, when you’ve got a mental illness or mental health disorder, it’s a lifetime of work. But sometimes? Sometimes it is easier than other times. I’ve worked REALLY hard to get to where it’s currently feeling easier. Because it’s not easy. I live for these times. Because damn, they make me really proud of myself.