Fight Club

“You do not talk about Fight Club.”

That’s how I grew up. My family was Fight Club.

I can’t process so much of what’s happening with my mental health without talking about my relationship with my parents and what it was like growing up in my family. It’s the basis for so many of the problems I struggle with in so many facets of my life. In order to heal, I have to process. And that means opening up and speaking out loud. Acknowledging my truth.

Therapy brings up a lot. And it has shown me that I’m still afraid of the punishments and anger and judgement and accusations that get aimed my way if I talk about Fight Club.

How do I heal, if I’m still afraid? If I feel shame for breaking that most important rule?

I love my family. But I’m also angry.

I have to talk about Fight Club. I will be doing what I need to do to heal, because it’s what I need to do to become my best self.

This is my reminder to myself that I’m doing nothing wrong. That, no matter what, I’m not a villain for breaking the rules.

This is me opening my eyes to my truth. And beginning to take full control of my own voice.