Making me smile

What a difference I feel from the crash I recently went through.

It started with a friend. A friend who remembered something I had said so long ago. A friend who remembered how to help me, even when I kept saying I was fine and needed no help.

She told me she missed me, and wanted to see me.
She offered to come to me.
She asked if I wanted anything.
She told me she was bringing coffee.
She showed up at my door, coffee in hand. Fully prepared to hand me coffee and give me a hug if I wanted one, and then leave me alone. Or to come in with her own coffee and spend time together so I wouldn’t be alone.

“I’m fine. I don’t need anything. I don’t want to be a bother. Why waste your time like that?”

She ignored all of that. And she did it all anyway. Because she had truly listened. She saw me. She helped so very much. And I am so grateful to have such friends in my life.

Then, I used up some of my vacation time and I got to do things that brought me insane amounts of happiness. 😀

Vivid fireworks above an old yet still beloved ferris wheel.

I got to go on adventures! Saw places new to me and did things I’ve never gotten to do before. Also, I have plans to see and do even more things in the weeks coming up.

I got to spend time with people I love, people I haven’t seen in ages, and people new to my life.

I got one of my tattoos fixed! The fireworks really, pardon the pun, POP now. As the artist put it, I have a party in the sky going on right there on my skin.

I took that vacation time and vacationed the hell out of it. *laughs* I’m exhausted. My legs keep cramping on me from all the driving I did that I am very much not accustomed to doing. My reading numbers are tanking this month. But damn. I did what I needed to do, and I feel amazing for it.

I came back to work today, and I am smiling. I am home this afternoon, and I’m excited about my upcoming nap, because tomorrow will be doing more wonderful activities that will make me exhausted. People. Art. Street festivals. Delicious food. All worth the excitement, though.

BUT…

Just because I was able to bounce back from the depression that came out to bite me doesn’t mean, though, that I am all better and can move forward as though nothing happened.

It did happen. My job, now, is to figure out why. To NAME what caused me to crash like that. Because once I am able to give those things a name, they lose their power.

I took the break I needed to get myself back upright. Now I can focus on what I need to do next.



Published by loribarett

Coffee addicted charismatic geek with a penchant for tattoos, books, and listening to people tell their stories.

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