As it turns out, the mental health care clinic I go to for my therapist and psych has a policy I was unaware of or had long forgotten about. In order to continue seeing my doctor (the writer of my psych med prescriptions) I *must* be seeing a therapist within that clinic. So what amContinue reading “Med management only”
Category Archives: personal
Tick, tick, Boom?
I used to think that by the age of 40 I would have my life figured out. That wasn’t me comparing myself to other people. It wasn’t me saying I *should* have my life figured out by age 40. It just made sense to me. It felt like the natural progression of how my lifeContinue reading “Tick, tick, Boom?”
Thanksgiving – AKA one of my least favorite days of the year
Nearly everyone I know has been gearing up for the big American holiday coming up this Thursday. A day of feasting, family, friends, and feelings of gratitude. Thanksgiving for me, though, is a day that causes sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and reminders of everything I don’t believe I have in my life. This does sound likeContinue reading “Thanksgiving – AKA one of my least favorite days of the year”
Stability. What to do next?
Off and on, I’ve been thinking about something big for a while. I am doing really fucking well with my mental health stability (even the ups or downs I’ve had have been minor and quickly dealt with). I’m not the only person who has noticed this, either. So it’s not just in my own mind.Continue reading “Stability. What to do next?”
Routine
Routine keeps me grounded. It helps keep my anxiety at bay. It helps keep me focused. Routine is essential to me. My routine got all kinds of messed up this week! And I’m not coping. First: My therapist switched the time of our monthly sessions on me with no advance notice. (Advance notice being atContinue reading “Routine”
Ooops
I gave myself a grade 2 calf strain yesterday. … By getting off a bus. I am in so much stupid amounts of pain! And frustration. And anger. And depression. I’m so tired of my body falling apart on me, at just 41 years old. A friend (one I’m in awe of, to be honest!)Continue reading “Ooops”
Love. Joy. Happiness.
As we enter October, which is always one of my toughest months, I want to start off by saying something simple, but positive. I love. I experience joy. I seek happiness. There is nothing that keeps me going more than reminding myself of those three things. “Joy comes from the heart. It is not relativeContinue reading “Love. Joy. Happiness.”
A mental health disorder is not the end
When I got my bipolar diagnosis at 21 years old I thought, “that’s it.” The only people I knew back then who had bipolar struggled through life. Most of them couldn’t keep a job. They had to be on disability benefits. They couldn’t live independently. They struggled with relationships. I had three friends who hadContinue reading “A mental health disorder is not the end”
Suicide Prevention
September is recognized annually as National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Suicidal ideation refers to thinking about, considering, or planning suicide. A suicide attempt is a non-fatal, self-directed, potentially injurious behavior with intent to die as a result of the behavior. A suicide attempt might not result in injury. Suicide is defined as death caused byContinue reading “Suicide Prevention”
Three months in
From the creation of this website I stated that writing a blog is hard. Particularly when the subject matter grows more intensely personal as time passes. But I’m doing it. It’s getting easier, week by week, to let go of my fears and open up about aspects of living with a mental illness that IContinue reading “Three months in”
On this day… painful memories
Five years ago today I came within a hairsbreadth of killing myself. I’ve had thoughts of suicide since, but never so close to following through. Because that day? It nearly happened. I was alone in a hotel room in New York. I had a plan. I knew what to do. I’d decided to do itContinue reading “On this day… painful memories”
With a little help from my friends…
“What can I do to help?” “Have you tried doing x/y/z?” My friends are coming from a place of love and concern and genuine care for how I am doing. But those question are huge triggers for me. How can I tell people who are only trying to help that what they’re doing is onlyContinue reading “With a little help from my friends…”
A much needed vacation
With summer hitting a horrific heat wave, a new semester starting at the University where I work and knowing that we’ll be going into the office for work in just another week for the first time since March 2020, and the stress of a dangerous new variant of covid – I’ve been feeling a lotContinue reading “A much needed vacation”
“What meds are you on?”
“What meds are you on?” I am pretty sure that every person with a mental illness has had THIS CONVERSATION at least once when they sit down with another person with a mental illness. By the time that conversation comes about we’ve all learned that there is no one magic pill to cure mental illness.Continue reading ““What meds are you on?””
Keys to a strong support network
None of us are perfect. Even when we know what we ought to do, we don’t always follow the rules. It’s when we know the rules, but consistently ignore them, that things start to fall apart. This is most important when it comes to the people in our lives. When a person has a mentalContinue reading “Keys to a strong support network”
Welcome to my world 