Author Archives: loribarett

I’m a sap. Not ashamed of being sentimental. It’s a part of who I am. Holding onto the memories of things that have made me smile is helpful in helping me remember that not every aspect of my past has been awful. That despite everything I’ve been through and all the lies in my brain,Continue reading “Smile for a Saturday- Sentimentality”

I made the decision to start looking for another job. Told my boss last week and yesterday I told my coworkers. I’ve been here for just about 9 years, and while I love it here and I am deeply appreciated, I’ve reached a point where I want to find a job that means something toContinue reading “Believing in myself – Job search edition”

This follows an earlier post about always trying to find SOMETHING to celebrate. In a world and during a time where things are dark and scary and feels like everything is crap – I think it’s important to find things that are still able to make me smile. So I am going to share theseContinue reading “Smile for a Saturday”

It’s my blog’s one year anniversary. It’s my one year anniversary of having made the decision to throw open the doors to what goes on in my brain and share my experiences where anyone can walk by and read what I’ve written. It’s a year of intensive processing of my understanding aspects of mental illnessContinue reading “Happy Anniversary”

My 42nd birthday was this week. My brain and emotions always get twisted around during this time of year, because I am simultaneously excited and happy about celebrating my birthday while also feeling depressed and lonely. A lot of people over the years have told me that birthdays as an adult don’t matter. That theyContinue reading “Happy birthday!”

Tested positive for COVID yesterday. I’d been showing a variety of symptoms since Wednesday, but all of my home tests kept coming back negative. Then I found out that someone I had been around on Monday tested positive, and suddenly things got more concerning. Luckily I don’t (yet) have a fever. And my breathing seemsContinue reading “It feels like I am being punished”

I feel hopeless. I would guess that people who throw around words and concepts like depression or blame bipolar on everything would say “you’re just depressed. Things will look up.” But I’m not depressed. Hopeless doesn’t mean I am depressed. I’m not depressed at all. But I do feel hopeless. It’s the situation with myContinue reading “One does not equal the other”

After months and months and more months of a nightmare of harassment involving my downstairs neighbor, it culminated with proof to me in court last week that neither I nor the police could do a damn thing about the situation. Emotionally, this came really close to full on breaking me. I needed to get myContinue reading ““Fuck it. I’m going to the Bahamas.””

I met last week with the new doctor who will be prescribing my medications. After 12 years with the same doctor, it’s hard to switch gears and begin with someone new. The doctor asks, “how many depressive/manic episodes have you had in 12 years? Tell me everything that has happened ever.” I can’t fucking remember!Continue reading “New Providers”

I just counted. In the past 9 years I’ve had 11 surgeries. From an accident that broke the hell out of my leg to the removal of an organ that decided it suddenly wanted to kill me. People understood I was in need of extra care in the weeks immediately following only a few ofContinue reading “Invisible”

I had dreamed of travel for as long as I can remember having dreams. My dad used to tell us stories of the trips he went on as a young man that I never tired of listening to. I would pour through encyclopedias and books about places and memoirs of people who had traveled theContinue reading “Accomplishing a life-long dream”

January is a hard month for me. (As it is for MOST of us, I imagine.) The end of the year is full of so much joy. I look at the next year as a clean slate, waiting for me to put my mark on it. I wake up on New Year’s Day and letContinue reading “January exhaustion”

Happy New Year. Welcome to 2022. Every year, on December 31st, I take my time to sit down and think. It’s my way of celebrating my successes and accepting what needs working on or working toward. The past year, as a whole, has been extremely difficult. The pandemic. Politics. Climate. Stupid people. I just hadContinue reading “Goodbye, 2021. Hello, 2022.”

As it turns out, the mental health care clinic I go to for my therapist and psych has a policy I was unaware of or had long forgotten about. In order to continue seeing my doctor (the writer of my psych med prescriptions) I *must* be seeing a therapist within that clinic. So what amContinue reading “Med management only”